Sometimes I look at my blog, and I want to write something but I don't know what to write. Sometimes I want to have a theme or a topic and write about my thoughts on a specific issue. Or I want to explode everyone's brains with some crazy insight I have that may or may not be unique. Or sometimes I just want to talk about how I'm feeling or what I've gone through. Right now I'm looking at this and thinking I should write, because I know Layne wants me to write more blogs. :]
Sometimes its so easy to get caught up in the big question for college kids-- WHATS NEXT? It's almost like we're constantly under the pressure to be where we're not, or to be aspiring to be at a better place than where we are. I know I've consumed SO MUCH of my time this week thinking about what I should do now. Sometimes the answer is simple, and I overthink it and get confused, or sometimes circumstances change so I have to be flexible and work around them.
Lately, I've been at a place where I've gone back and forth between peace and confusion, and I was letting my perception of other people's expectations of me hinder me from making a decision. I wanted to please others and do what seemed to be the logical thing to do to make everyone happy. I was caught up in it all. I wanted to seek God but my confusion was causing me to forget how to even hear God's voice. I was almost panicking, because coming back from such a mountain top experience (aka. DTS) I was expecting to be some sort of prophet from another land that just could constantly determine the Lord's will. Maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but I had an expectation of myself to be at a place that I didn't feel like I was.
A good friend suggested I look over my DTS notes and remember the things I was taught during lecture phase, I did so and all the sudden I felt like my confusion came crashing down. I realized I hadn't actually been seeking God. I wasn't waiting on the Lord. I was riding on my DTS experience with God and just expecting Him to answer me. I wasn't being active. I prayed, but more in passing than anything else. I got my Bible out and I just really sought the Lord. I had a few good talks with people and I got my priorities straight and I've just felt so at peace, knowing I don't have to make a decision right now...The pressure I imposed on myself isn't really there. I can choose to be at peace at a time when I have questions.
Tonight, I went to the MVMNT Thursday night service and God really spoke to me. MAN. Matt was giving the exhortation and he talked about Jesus dying on the cross and looking out and seeing each one of us. Jesus from the cross looked at MY life. He called out Rachel Olson. And all he asked me to do was love him back. Thats it! Yeah, missions and ministry is great. I know God wants me to do that...but all it comes down to is the unfathomable, unchanging, motivating, unrelenting love of Jesus Christ. And the fact that all this love is directed towards me as an individual. I don't have to do anything. It makes me think of the attention of a person. How when someone treats you like you're valuable, like you're the funniest, most exciting and interesting person they've ever met...and they're just so captivated with you. And how Jesus looks at me and He's just like "wow, Rachel, you're fascinating to me. I want to know you more. I want to spend time with you. I want you to spend forever with me. I want you to know the depths of how much I care for you. I want you to feel like you are worth everything that you are. I love a you." Literally...that just gets my heart pumping in my chest. How the God of the universe could come in the form of a human, with a human will and emotion and yet choose to fall in love with ME. It sounds so simple. It sounds like the typical revelation you get when you go to church...but I will never grow tired of having a new revelation of how much Jesus loves me. I just LOVE Jesus. He makes me giddy! I get to a place where I'm just blown away, totally in love and thinking...I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world. And its crazy because I know that God loves everyone to the same capacity...and that doesn't make his love less valuable that its so freely given. God's love isn't cheap. Its costly. His love died a horrific death WILLINGLY just so we could know He loves us and He wanted to save us. He did it for us. He didn't do it for himself...He did it for me. WOW.
I get so caught up in the song that goes "I want to look at the face of the one that I love, want to stay in You presence, its where I belong." I feel like that is the song of my heart. I love singing for the Lord. I haven't written anything worthwhile for a long time...kind of breaks my heart. I think its because I sing when I drive...and I don't have a car anymore and I didn't drive in YWAM...but I just think of all the millions of love songs written out there about sex and emotion and heartbreak and pain...and I just think how love between people is only supposed to be a reflection of the love of the Father for us. How twisted the view of love is. Love is a promise to always look for the good other other person. Always. Not a "hope I someday get to be with you" or a "i like you" Its a commitment and a guarantee. I take the words "I love you." SO seriously. I could write a whole blog just on that...and maybe some day I will.
But right now I'm looking at life thinking... Man Jesus LOVES me. Why worry about tomorrow when THIS is what its all about?
MAN!
COME ON SOMEBODY! ;]
<3Rachel
Friday, April 8, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Life and Life to the Full
So I am back in the United States. I have been for about a week and a half. I'm sorry for not updating sooner. First let me tell you about the remaining weeks I had in South Africa.
I went to Kruger on 2/14 to a YWAM base there also called 10,000 Homes. Some of you may have heard of it, because of its affiliation with New Hope Church in Wylie. Immediately when I went to the base, I felt at home. There is such a warm and inviting feel to the people and their ministry. The whole heart behind 10,000 Homes is to provide people with homes. Not only a physical home, but the feeling of belonging, love, and support that comes with a family. While we were there we had several awesome opportunities. Each week we'd help out with 2 different feedings. One in Mbonaswani, that was located at the church we'd go each Sunday. We would have a group go out and help the volunteers from the church cook the food, then we'd all go out and have a VBS type program, telling Bible Stories and singing songs. We'd also just love and play with the kids. The other location, Dwaleni, we did a similar thing, with some slight variations. We would go help the nurses from the nearby clinic cook the food, and we'd also go out and do some home visits and pray for people before the rest of the team came for the feeding. On the days we didn't have a feeding, we'd go out to White River in a shopping center, and go do evangelism. We'd do intercession before hand, ask God who we should pray for, and then we'd go and find them! We also helped quilt together knit squares to make blankets for the most vulnerable children in the Dwaleni feeding. We knit about 12 together while we were there, and we had the opportunity to pass them out.
So that was our ministry on a non-personal level. I have a few stories that have just stuck with me. One day we were doing home visits while in Dwaleni. Meghan, Stephanie, Nate and I went out with a staff member to pray for people. After doing several visits, we stopped by a random house. The staff member had never been in this area before, he was just being spirit led. And we ended up getting into a conversation with this 19 year old guy. He wanted to know more about Jesus. We asked him what he knew and he said he knew very little. He went to church on Sundays, but he didn't feel as though he had a personal relationship with Christ. We got him to open up more and he told us that he didn't really like being a Christian, because all of his friends wanted him to do other stuff that he knew was wrong in God's to eyes. He didn't want to fully commit to Christ, because he knew he'd have to give those things up. First, the fact that he opened up that much to us is HUGE. Africans typically don't like addressing their own feelings and their own lives. They talk about external needs, but its rare for someone to open up about the real condition of their heart. But we were able to open up to this guy and tell him all there is to gain from following Christ...that the loss is nothing in comparison. That God loved him and had a plan for his life, and that he wanted to use him. He wanted his heart. We were able to give some testimonies and we asked whether he believed all of that. He said he did, and we ended up being able to lead this guy and his cousin in a prayer of salvation. The staff member got his number has has continued to keep in contact with the guy to continue discipleship. Praise God for leading us to this young man's house.
Another story is that we went to the clinic where all the nurses worked and we were able to pray for the patients waiting to go in to get checked up. Rachel Beck and I were able to talk to this young pregnant women who was waiting to go in. We found out she had had 3 children prior to the one she was expecting, but all of them had died. We asked about her faith in God, and she said she didn't really feel like God loved her because of all the terrible things that had happened to her. We were able to share with her the love of God and she just began to cry. We told her about God's mercy and justice, about how in heaven she'd be able to be with her children again. She prayed a prayer of salvation with us in her own language. She had such a huge smile on her face when she finished. She said she was so happy inside. It was a beautiful moment to see a daughter of the King recognize the love that God has directed towards her.
All of these things encouraged me and blessed me and filled me with boldness for the next person I would minister to. I want people to understand and know the love of Jesus! But my last story probably breaks my heart more than the rest. I was at the last feeding we were going to have in Mbonaswani...I was kind of tired and I really just wanted to sit around and do nothing. I thought that while I was sitting around...I might as well hold a little kid or something. I know this isn't the right heart mentality to have, but bear with me! I went and picked up this little boy I hadn't seen before. His name was Mensi. He was probably about 3 or 4...he didn't say anything. He was just wide eyed and open lipped...just the cutest thing ever. I went over to him and gestured if he wanted me to pick him up and he put his arms up for me to hold him. I picked him up and brought him back to my chair. I sat there just holding and rocking him...just singing to him softly, and he would just watch me and occasionally touch my face. I had him sitting so he was facing out towards what was going on...eventually he slumped over and fell asleep in my arms. He was drooling on my arms, so I positioned him up a little bit...and eventually I turned him around and he wrapped his little arms around my neck and rested his head on my chest. He held on tightly and fell fast asleep again. He slept in my arms for about 45 minutes. I was so honored that he felt comfortable enough with me to fall asleep in my arms. I just started praying for him and holding him close...trying to express as much love from my heart as I could. Eventually he woke up and we started playing together...he wanted to walk around...but he always made sure I was right by him. Kids would come by and start picking on him and he would run over to me and hide his face in my skirt. Later on, he fell down and started crying. His sister ran over and tried to pick him up to comfort him...but he shook her off and ran over to me and wanted me to hold him. I cannot even express how much this touched my heart. God spoke to me at that moment and told me how precious it is to him when I shake off anyone else who tries to comfort me and run to Him. He alone is my safety and my protector. I pray for Mensi just about every day. When I think about him...my heart just rips out of my chest. He's that one little boy that I would want to take home and call my own. I love him. It was amazing to me that God waited until the last week of my outreach to really break my heart.
After we finished our ministry, we took 2 days and went on an overnight Safari,and went to several waterfalls and markets. We came back to states, and after traveling for 30 hours, I had to stay awake another 10-12 before I could go to sleep. I was extremely tired coming back, but now after an extremely tearful graduation, and goodbye to all my friends that I've grown SO attached to the last several months. I am home. Back in Allen, Texas
What is next you may ask? (Or maybe you're asking when this blog will be done, seeing as how its getting pretty long now)
I plan on doing a second school with YWAM Orlando. Instead of a DTS (Discipleship Training Program) I will be doing an SOMD (School of Ministry Development). I am praying about exactly when. They offer schools quarterly, so I have several options. But I do know that it is my next step. The school is focused on individual ministry. I feel a call to full time missions, and this school will help me focus on my giftings and passions, and I'll be able to have a better idea of how I can be best equipped for whatever God will ask me to do with my life. I'll be home for several months, working, support raising, and rebuilding relationships here.
But I am EXCITED about the work God is doing in my life. I am not the same after this experience. I feel like I've grown so much into a maturing and growing walk with God. I love discipleship. I want to see others grow in their understand of God's character and love. There is so much to live for and so much to experience.
Life and life to the full is definitely the life I feel I am living.
Thank you all so much for blessing me with this experience. I cannot even begin to describe how honored I am that you would believe in me enough to invest in my call. I would love to talk about my experience to anyone that wants to know, so please do not hesitate to message me or call me to get together. I am more than excited to give testimony to what God has done in my life.
I love you all!
--Rachel Olson
I went to Kruger on 2/14 to a YWAM base there also called 10,000 Homes. Some of you may have heard of it, because of its affiliation with New Hope Church in Wylie. Immediately when I went to the base, I felt at home. There is such a warm and inviting feel to the people and their ministry. The whole heart behind 10,000 Homes is to provide people with homes. Not only a physical home, but the feeling of belonging, love, and support that comes with a family. While we were there we had several awesome opportunities. Each week we'd help out with 2 different feedings. One in Mbonaswani, that was located at the church we'd go each Sunday. We would have a group go out and help the volunteers from the church cook the food, then we'd all go out and have a VBS type program, telling Bible Stories and singing songs. We'd also just love and play with the kids. The other location, Dwaleni, we did a similar thing, with some slight variations. We would go help the nurses from the nearby clinic cook the food, and we'd also go out and do some home visits and pray for people before the rest of the team came for the feeding. On the days we didn't have a feeding, we'd go out to White River in a shopping center, and go do evangelism. We'd do intercession before hand, ask God who we should pray for, and then we'd go and find them! We also helped quilt together knit squares to make blankets for the most vulnerable children in the Dwaleni feeding. We knit about 12 together while we were there, and we had the opportunity to pass them out.
So that was our ministry on a non-personal level. I have a few stories that have just stuck with me. One day we were doing home visits while in Dwaleni. Meghan, Stephanie, Nate and I went out with a staff member to pray for people. After doing several visits, we stopped by a random house. The staff member had never been in this area before, he was just being spirit led. And we ended up getting into a conversation with this 19 year old guy. He wanted to know more about Jesus. We asked him what he knew and he said he knew very little. He went to church on Sundays, but he didn't feel as though he had a personal relationship with Christ. We got him to open up more and he told us that he didn't really like being a Christian, because all of his friends wanted him to do other stuff that he knew was wrong in God's to eyes. He didn't want to fully commit to Christ, because he knew he'd have to give those things up. First, the fact that he opened up that much to us is HUGE. Africans typically don't like addressing their own feelings and their own lives. They talk about external needs, but its rare for someone to open up about the real condition of their heart. But we were able to open up to this guy and tell him all there is to gain from following Christ...that the loss is nothing in comparison. That God loved him and had a plan for his life, and that he wanted to use him. He wanted his heart. We were able to give some testimonies and we asked whether he believed all of that. He said he did, and we ended up being able to lead this guy and his cousin in a prayer of salvation. The staff member got his number has has continued to keep in contact with the guy to continue discipleship. Praise God for leading us to this young man's house.
Another story is that we went to the clinic where all the nurses worked and we were able to pray for the patients waiting to go in to get checked up. Rachel Beck and I were able to talk to this young pregnant women who was waiting to go in. We found out she had had 3 children prior to the one she was expecting, but all of them had died. We asked about her faith in God, and she said she didn't really feel like God loved her because of all the terrible things that had happened to her. We were able to share with her the love of God and she just began to cry. We told her about God's mercy and justice, about how in heaven she'd be able to be with her children again. She prayed a prayer of salvation with us in her own language. She had such a huge smile on her face when she finished. She said she was so happy inside. It was a beautiful moment to see a daughter of the King recognize the love that God has directed towards her.
All of these things encouraged me and blessed me and filled me with boldness for the next person I would minister to. I want people to understand and know the love of Jesus! But my last story probably breaks my heart more than the rest. I was at the last feeding we were going to have in Mbonaswani...I was kind of tired and I really just wanted to sit around and do nothing. I thought that while I was sitting around...I might as well hold a little kid or something. I know this isn't the right heart mentality to have, but bear with me! I went and picked up this little boy I hadn't seen before. His name was Mensi. He was probably about 3 or 4...he didn't say anything. He was just wide eyed and open lipped...just the cutest thing ever. I went over to him and gestured if he wanted me to pick him up and he put his arms up for me to hold him. I picked him up and brought him back to my chair. I sat there just holding and rocking him...just singing to him softly, and he would just watch me and occasionally touch my face. I had him sitting so he was facing out towards what was going on...eventually he slumped over and fell asleep in my arms. He was drooling on my arms, so I positioned him up a little bit...and eventually I turned him around and he wrapped his little arms around my neck and rested his head on my chest. He held on tightly and fell fast asleep again. He slept in my arms for about 45 minutes. I was so honored that he felt comfortable enough with me to fall asleep in my arms. I just started praying for him and holding him close...trying to express as much love from my heart as I could. Eventually he woke up and we started playing together...he wanted to walk around...but he always made sure I was right by him. Kids would come by and start picking on him and he would run over to me and hide his face in my skirt. Later on, he fell down and started crying. His sister ran over and tried to pick him up to comfort him...but he shook her off and ran over to me and wanted me to hold him. I cannot even express how much this touched my heart. God spoke to me at that moment and told me how precious it is to him when I shake off anyone else who tries to comfort me and run to Him. He alone is my safety and my protector. I pray for Mensi just about every day. When I think about him...my heart just rips out of my chest. He's that one little boy that I would want to take home and call my own. I love him. It was amazing to me that God waited until the last week of my outreach to really break my heart.
After we finished our ministry, we took 2 days and went on an overnight Safari,and went to several waterfalls and markets. We came back to states, and after traveling for 30 hours, I had to stay awake another 10-12 before I could go to sleep. I was extremely tired coming back, but now after an extremely tearful graduation, and goodbye to all my friends that I've grown SO attached to the last several months. I am home. Back in Allen, Texas
What is next you may ask? (Or maybe you're asking when this blog will be done, seeing as how its getting pretty long now)
I plan on doing a second school with YWAM Orlando. Instead of a DTS (Discipleship Training Program) I will be doing an SOMD (School of Ministry Development). I am praying about exactly when. They offer schools quarterly, so I have several options. But I do know that it is my next step. The school is focused on individual ministry. I feel a call to full time missions, and this school will help me focus on my giftings and passions, and I'll be able to have a better idea of how I can be best equipped for whatever God will ask me to do with my life. I'll be home for several months, working, support raising, and rebuilding relationships here.
But I am EXCITED about the work God is doing in my life. I am not the same after this experience. I feel like I've grown so much into a maturing and growing walk with God. I love discipleship. I want to see others grow in their understand of God's character and love. There is so much to live for and so much to experience.
Life and life to the full is definitely the life I feel I am living.
Thank you all so much for blessing me with this experience. I cannot even begin to describe how honored I am that you would believe in me enough to invest in my call. I would love to talk about my experience to anyone that wants to know, so please do not hesitate to message me or call me to get together. I am more than excited to give testimony to what God has done in my life.
I love you all!
--Rachel Olson
Saturday, February 5, 2011
I've caught a bug...
Hello from Rustenberg, South Africa! Currently I am at a mall sitting in the internet cafe.
This past week I've spent time at an HIV/AIDS Hospice called Tapalogo. I was expecting patients to be on the very brink of death...and some were. Two passed this week while we were there. But most had very high spirits and were probably going to be released to go home shortly. We would go each morning and bring them treats, play cards, read the Bible, sing songs, Dance. We prayed for several of the women's original designs and I believe one of the women accepted Christ. We had a church service on the last day, Friday, and it was really good. We sang some songs, Jenny told her testimony about how God showed her why injustice happens, Shailah talked about God's love, and I talked about Forgiveness and God's mercy on us. I had an opportunity to sing a song I wrote about the women caught the in the act of adultery. The spirit was really moving through us this week.
I've grown so much in my intimacy with God. I absolutely love being here. God has just been showing me over and over again how much he loves me. I feel like I'm on top of the world. I had my birthday here, and now I am 20 years old. Its weird...but I really do feel a bit older. I feel like God has had to take me away from my comfort zone of family, friends, and America...and really shown me a lot about His character and His heart for me.
I am confident that God wants me to do an SOMD after my DTS...either in the Summer or the Fall. If college comes after that, we'll see. SOMD is really focused on specific giftings and callings. I feel that after I do an SOMD, I'll have a better grasp on what field of missions I should be heading towards. If that requires a degree, I will definitely be obedient to whatever God has called me to.
I'm so in love with Christ, ya'll!
After so many years of not even fully GETTING it...I feel like I have a gold mine in my hands. I don't need money, stuff, or even a real place to say is my home. God has prepared a city for me. I was reading in Hebrews 11...where it talks about those who had great faith. They talked about how this world was not their home...they were aliens in this world. And that was talk of faith...people who knew there was so much more to life than this world. I feel like I'm getting to that place. There is a spiritual battle going on.
I have so much opportunity, and so many blessings...and I know God chose me to be his vessel to carry the gospel. I want to preach boldly without shame. I've caugh this contagious bug that I can't even contain. I could spend this whole blog talking about Africa...but I'm too caught up in how blessed I have to have a God who offers GRACE to cover our transgressions...who PASSIONATELY LOVES us...enough to expand the universe and show me a glimpse of the stars at night, or the clouds during the day. The beauty of the Lord has overwhelmed me and I can't keep it in!!!
Can't wait to get back and show you how I feel. I want each of you to catch it too. I love the Bible. I love Jesus. I love my Father God. I love the power and authority I have throught the Spirit. I literally blush when I think about how good God is to me...He's all I need. Forever.
I have a whole new desire for integrity, character, and living at a high standard.
I pray every day that I'll come back and really be different. I'm tired of the same old thing.
WOW
and I'm a little frustrated...it won't let me log into my email at all. So I haven't checked it since January 24th...if anyone is wondering why I haven't responded.
I love you all
:]
Sorry I can't respond to everyone...even my mom and dad who I love deeply. There is a line waiting for internet, and I've already been on for 45 minutes.
I LOVE THE OLSON FAMILY. :]]]]
Rachel
This past week I've spent time at an HIV/AIDS Hospice called Tapalogo. I was expecting patients to be on the very brink of death...and some were. Two passed this week while we were there. But most had very high spirits and were probably going to be released to go home shortly. We would go each morning and bring them treats, play cards, read the Bible, sing songs, Dance. We prayed for several of the women's original designs and I believe one of the women accepted Christ. We had a church service on the last day, Friday, and it was really good. We sang some songs, Jenny told her testimony about how God showed her why injustice happens, Shailah talked about God's love, and I talked about Forgiveness and God's mercy on us. I had an opportunity to sing a song I wrote about the women caught the in the act of adultery. The spirit was really moving through us this week.
I've grown so much in my intimacy with God. I absolutely love being here. God has just been showing me over and over again how much he loves me. I feel like I'm on top of the world. I had my birthday here, and now I am 20 years old. Its weird...but I really do feel a bit older. I feel like God has had to take me away from my comfort zone of family, friends, and America...and really shown me a lot about His character and His heart for me.
I am confident that God wants me to do an SOMD after my DTS...either in the Summer or the Fall. If college comes after that, we'll see. SOMD is really focused on specific giftings and callings. I feel that after I do an SOMD, I'll have a better grasp on what field of missions I should be heading towards. If that requires a degree, I will definitely be obedient to whatever God has called me to.
I'm so in love with Christ, ya'll!
After so many years of not even fully GETTING it...I feel like I have a gold mine in my hands. I don't need money, stuff, or even a real place to say is my home. God has prepared a city for me. I was reading in Hebrews 11...where it talks about those who had great faith. They talked about how this world was not their home...they were aliens in this world. And that was talk of faith...people who knew there was so much more to life than this world. I feel like I'm getting to that place. There is a spiritual battle going on.
I have so much opportunity, and so many blessings...and I know God chose me to be his vessel to carry the gospel. I want to preach boldly without shame. I've caugh this contagious bug that I can't even contain. I could spend this whole blog talking about Africa...but I'm too caught up in how blessed I have to have a God who offers GRACE to cover our transgressions...who PASSIONATELY LOVES us...enough to expand the universe and show me a glimpse of the stars at night, or the clouds during the day. The beauty of the Lord has overwhelmed me and I can't keep it in!!!
Can't wait to get back and show you how I feel. I want each of you to catch it too. I love the Bible. I love Jesus. I love my Father God. I love the power and authority I have throught the Spirit. I literally blush when I think about how good God is to me...He's all I need. Forever.
I have a whole new desire for integrity, character, and living at a high standard.
I pray every day that I'll come back and really be different. I'm tired of the same old thing.
WOW
and I'm a little frustrated...it won't let me log into my email at all. So I haven't checked it since January 24th...if anyone is wondering why I haven't responded.
I love you all
:]
Sorry I can't respond to everyone...even my mom and dad who I love deeply. There is a line waiting for internet, and I've already been on for 45 minutes.
I LOVE THE OLSON FAMILY. :]]]]
Rachel
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Palapye, Botswana
Well I am a terrible blogger. I just can't seem to update frequently enough. I apologize to all of my supporters, that I haven't been more diligent to provide updates.
Currently I am in Palapye, Botswana at a pastors house. I've been doing hospital visits, school ministries, door to door evangelism, and teaching every night at the church. I am so blessed beyond measure to be here.
Outreach has proved to be a time where flexibility and patience is needed, but there is so much joy and grace found in service. I'm so blessed! I love Africa! I love the people here in Botswana. People are more hospitable and friendly than anyone I've ever met. All the girls on my Palapye team are staying at the Pastor's house. There are 11 of us. He has been giving us all rides to every location we go, back and forth til we're all where we need to be, and he cleared out two of the rooms in his own house so we would have room to sleep. He is bending over backwards for us...and we can see the grace of God on his life. I am honored to be able to partner with and learn from such a godly man.
Going on this portion of the trip to Botswana really was a wild card trip. We didn't know what to expect when we got here. All we knew was there was some form of evangelism and teaching. We definitely have been doing quite a bit of both. One thing that really sticks out to me is a trip we took the hospital. I prayed for a girl with TB and by the size of her, I'd guess she was HIV/AIDS positive too. She couldn't speak much because of her illness, but she could hear out of one ear and she understood English. I was able to pray over her and Corey and I read several Psalms to her. At one point I looked into her eyes and I was able to tell her that God saw her even here in her darkest hour. That he loved her and valued her, and that Jesus wanted to save her. I told her that she is precious and loved and God wants her and loves her so deeply. As I told her these things, her eyes grew wider and wider and she began to cry. I was so moved for her. I really felt like the Holy Spirit was moving in my and guiding my words.
You can't even go into a hospital here without being overwhelmed with compassion. There are people in really bad shape...and they are desperate for anything you can offer them. Patients, Nurses, and Family members are all asking us to pray for them as we walk through the hallways. We even had two women with blindness receieve sight and relief from pain after our prayers. We saw them at the church service that night because they wanted to know what was behind the healing. Praise GOD!
Here in Botswana, we're not staying at a YWAM base, we're staying at a pastors house. So we're able to experience a bit more of the life and culture here than we might have if there had been a base removed from the culture. I feel like I'm getting to experience what a life of full time missions would look like. I'm excited.
God has been speaking to me a lot about my future plans and trusting Him. I know this is what my life is meant to look like. To be on the front lines when it comes to missions. What a blessing!
Pray for me and my team as we end our time here in Palapye Botswana and move onto Rustenberg South Africa. We'll be working with a hospice and at a place called "Freedom Park" which is an HIV/AIDS squatter camp. Pray that we'll be able to have a special grace to endure whatever we may see and experience there. Pray that we'll be refreshed in our time of ministry, that we won't grow weary while doing good. Pray for safety and good attitudes.
I love you all, and I can't thank you enough for the support that has gotten me to this place. I know that with God all things are possible, and I'm trusting HIM alone with my future.
Blessings!
-Rachel Olson
Currently I am in Palapye, Botswana at a pastors house. I've been doing hospital visits, school ministries, door to door evangelism, and teaching every night at the church. I am so blessed beyond measure to be here.
Outreach has proved to be a time where flexibility and patience is needed, but there is so much joy and grace found in service. I'm so blessed! I love Africa! I love the people here in Botswana. People are more hospitable and friendly than anyone I've ever met. All the girls on my Palapye team are staying at the Pastor's house. There are 11 of us. He has been giving us all rides to every location we go, back and forth til we're all where we need to be, and he cleared out two of the rooms in his own house so we would have room to sleep. He is bending over backwards for us...and we can see the grace of God on his life. I am honored to be able to partner with and learn from such a godly man.
Going on this portion of the trip to Botswana really was a wild card trip. We didn't know what to expect when we got here. All we knew was there was some form of evangelism and teaching. We definitely have been doing quite a bit of both. One thing that really sticks out to me is a trip we took the hospital. I prayed for a girl with TB and by the size of her, I'd guess she was HIV/AIDS positive too. She couldn't speak much because of her illness, but she could hear out of one ear and she understood English. I was able to pray over her and Corey and I read several Psalms to her. At one point I looked into her eyes and I was able to tell her that God saw her even here in her darkest hour. That he loved her and valued her, and that Jesus wanted to save her. I told her that she is precious and loved and God wants her and loves her so deeply. As I told her these things, her eyes grew wider and wider and she began to cry. I was so moved for her. I really felt like the Holy Spirit was moving in my and guiding my words.
You can't even go into a hospital here without being overwhelmed with compassion. There are people in really bad shape...and they are desperate for anything you can offer them. Patients, Nurses, and Family members are all asking us to pray for them as we walk through the hallways. We even had two women with blindness receieve sight and relief from pain after our prayers. We saw them at the church service that night because they wanted to know what was behind the healing. Praise GOD!
Here in Botswana, we're not staying at a YWAM base, we're staying at a pastors house. So we're able to experience a bit more of the life and culture here than we might have if there had been a base removed from the culture. I feel like I'm getting to experience what a life of full time missions would look like. I'm excited.
God has been speaking to me a lot about my future plans and trusting Him. I know this is what my life is meant to look like. To be on the front lines when it comes to missions. What a blessing!
Pray for me and my team as we end our time here in Palapye Botswana and move onto Rustenberg South Africa. We'll be working with a hospice and at a place called "Freedom Park" which is an HIV/AIDS squatter camp. Pray that we'll be able to have a special grace to endure whatever we may see and experience there. Pray that we'll be refreshed in our time of ministry, that we won't grow weary while doing good. Pray for safety and good attitudes.
I love you all, and I can't thank you enough for the support that has gotten me to this place. I know that with God all things are possible, and I'm trusting HIM alone with my future.
Blessings!
-Rachel Olson
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Final Thoughts on Lecture Phase.
So I'm at the airport waiting for my flight home to Dallas for Christmas. Gate 17, to be exact. I'm sitting here with all my stuff, but I'm completely alone. Yeah, there are other passengers around...but its not the same, we all know it. How many times are we just alone in a crowd of people.
I'm reflecting back on the fact that Lecture Phase...the first 3 months of my Discipleship Training Program, is complete. I've heard so many awesome teachings in regards to hearing God's voice, forgiveness, God's character, lordship, maturing in Christ, and much more. But the most awesome thing about DTS is that it is a Live/Learn environment. You hear the teaching, but it means nothing til you apply it to your life. That's why Paul says its not those that hear the law that are obedient, but those who have the law written on their hearts.
Probably the number one life lesson I've learned in DTS...and by learned, I mean taught and applied, is that its about your HEART. Its not about the Do's and Don'ts. Legalism isn't just "all R-rated movies are bad," Legalism is thinking that by doing A, B, and C, you are fulfilling your religious obligation. Legalism lacks relationship. I never thought of myself as legalistic...but I was so wrong. I looked at everyone as having an expectation of me...and I just had to fulfill my duty as a Christian, as a leader, as a friend, as a daughter...and then I was good. I lacked the heart. Now I see that its ALL about your heart.
Out of the wellspring of your heart, the mouth speaks. Its all about the yearning and motivation. God isn't about a check list in forming a relationship with you. God speaks actively. He doesn't just withhold himself from you because you haven't read your Bible that day. My mind has just expanded so much on God's character. Honestly. When bad stuff in life happens, you can ALWAYS go back to God's character and find the truth in the situation.
I'm broken hearted to leave some of these dear friends of mine. Some of them I'll see when I go to South Africa, but most of them are going to either Jordan or India, and I won't see them until March when I return from outreach. You spend all day every day with these people. Even my friends I have had for years haven't spent that much time with me. Oh the lessons I've learned from living with people, and having to look at the person behind the action. Yes, the dishes were left dirty in the sink all night, but the person was exhausted and sick. You learn to apply grace where it is needed.
Coming out of this part of DTS, I am so at peace about who I am in Christ. I'm slightly overwhelmed by the enormity of my calling in life, but I'm learning to take it one step at a time, led by the voice of God. I'm learning its really okay to not have a 5 year plan, or even a year out. Its okay to just be lead by the spirit in life. So many wrong views of myself and of God and others were corrected during this time. I feel like I really couldn't go out and do the work with AIDS patients and orphans in South Africa if I hadn't been through this first part. The training develops me as a person. I'm being filled up so I can pour out. Giving out of the overflow.
Yes, I do feel called to full time overseas missions. I don't know the steps to take to get there yet, but I'm fully trusting God on this one. He knows exactly where I should be, and he's faithful to speak. DTS is just good for life. Whether or not you plan on going on the mission field, I recommend it. You learn who God is, and how to live out a life worthy of the gospel. To LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL. That's my biggest desire coming out of this. God, let me live life to the full.
Honestly, this period of time in my life has been MONUMENTAL in my development as a person, as a leader, as a Christian, and as a missionary. Thank you so much for supporting me in this. Honestly, its been the biggest blessing to have so many people back me in prayer and finances for this whole thing.
I pray, my life would be testimony enough of the change God has done in my heart.
I love you all very much.
I'm looking forward to seeing Dallas in a couple hours :]
<3 Rachel Olson.
I'm reflecting back on the fact that Lecture Phase...the first 3 months of my Discipleship Training Program, is complete. I've heard so many awesome teachings in regards to hearing God's voice, forgiveness, God's character, lordship, maturing in Christ, and much more. But the most awesome thing about DTS is that it is a Live/Learn environment. You hear the teaching, but it means nothing til you apply it to your life. That's why Paul says its not those that hear the law that are obedient, but those who have the law written on their hearts.
Probably the number one life lesson I've learned in DTS...and by learned, I mean taught and applied, is that its about your HEART. Its not about the Do's and Don'ts. Legalism isn't just "all R-rated movies are bad," Legalism is thinking that by doing A, B, and C, you are fulfilling your religious obligation. Legalism lacks relationship. I never thought of myself as legalistic...but I was so wrong. I looked at everyone as having an expectation of me...and I just had to fulfill my duty as a Christian, as a leader, as a friend, as a daughter...and then I was good. I lacked the heart. Now I see that its ALL about your heart.
Out of the wellspring of your heart, the mouth speaks. Its all about the yearning and motivation. God isn't about a check list in forming a relationship with you. God speaks actively. He doesn't just withhold himself from you because you haven't read your Bible that day. My mind has just expanded so much on God's character. Honestly. When bad stuff in life happens, you can ALWAYS go back to God's character and find the truth in the situation.
I'm broken hearted to leave some of these dear friends of mine. Some of them I'll see when I go to South Africa, but most of them are going to either Jordan or India, and I won't see them until March when I return from outreach. You spend all day every day with these people. Even my friends I have had for years haven't spent that much time with me. Oh the lessons I've learned from living with people, and having to look at the person behind the action. Yes, the dishes were left dirty in the sink all night, but the person was exhausted and sick. You learn to apply grace where it is needed.
Coming out of this part of DTS, I am so at peace about who I am in Christ. I'm slightly overwhelmed by the enormity of my calling in life, but I'm learning to take it one step at a time, led by the voice of God. I'm learning its really okay to not have a 5 year plan, or even a year out. Its okay to just be lead by the spirit in life. So many wrong views of myself and of God and others were corrected during this time. I feel like I really couldn't go out and do the work with AIDS patients and orphans in South Africa if I hadn't been through this first part. The training develops me as a person. I'm being filled up so I can pour out. Giving out of the overflow.
Yes, I do feel called to full time overseas missions. I don't know the steps to take to get there yet, but I'm fully trusting God on this one. He knows exactly where I should be, and he's faithful to speak. DTS is just good for life. Whether or not you plan on going on the mission field, I recommend it. You learn who God is, and how to live out a life worthy of the gospel. To LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL. That's my biggest desire coming out of this. God, let me live life to the full.
Honestly, this period of time in my life has been MONUMENTAL in my development as a person, as a leader, as a Christian, and as a missionary. Thank you so much for supporting me in this. Honestly, its been the biggest blessing to have so many people back me in prayer and finances for this whole thing.
I pray, my life would be testimony enough of the change God has done in my heart.
I love you all very much.
I'm looking forward to seeing Dallas in a couple hours :]
<3 Rachel Olson.
Friday, December 3, 2010
God holds me to my word.
Sometimes the most important lessons you will ever learn happen through pain and sacrifice. Right now I feel more humbled than I ever have in my entire life. I've gone through extreme emotional highs and lows during this DTS. I've felt blessed beyond measure, and excited about the potential of my future, and at my absolute worst crying over every simple comment.
Through this all, God has shown me that its easy for me to turn to other people to be my rock and my safeplace. To feel confused and to ask someone with wisdom, rather than just ask God himself. I believed God could comfort me and give me peace, but I would rather have a tangible presence solve all the problems in the world. God has shown me that it is okay to just cry in his presence. To be real with him and let him know that I'm mad, or I'm upset, or I feel helpless and hopeless...but I can still be obedient in the midst of my frustration. If I tell God what I think--he can correct my views and really solve the problem. He's the one with all the answers.
My heart feels like I have nothing left in me. I've learned that true humility requires sacrifice. The laying down of "rights" and desires in order that God may be glorified. God's best can't be the best unless its done God's way...in his timing.
I realize I try to control God. I try to control others based on what my feelings are. I can't control everything. When things are outside of my control I get angry, I feel depressed, I get so frustrated and I work myself up. I can't change people's opinions just because I can justify things in my own mind. All I can really do is trust God to show himself strong through people and circumstances. I can't just make stuff happen. I have to prove it. I have to be diligent and stand by my word and my convictions. What good am I if I can't be obedient. God just really showed me that I've never really done something I just didn't want to do without being forced to do it.
Think about it--how many times have you really gone against your own will and flesh? I'm sitting here just praying to God that my own will hasn't been all wrong. That I haven't been ignoring the voice of God about this whole thing. Yes, I know I've missed the mark--but you keep on going. You trust in God to speak to you despite your will being pulled apart. Its funny that in my first week of DTS, I asked God to break my will...but never until now have I really felt it just fall to pieces.
The cards are on the table.
God is good. He holds me to my word. He tests my submission, obedience, willingness, and pride because He wants me to grow closer to him...
So I just gotta learn to fall into his arms instead of pull away.
-Rachel Olson
Through this all, God has shown me that its easy for me to turn to other people to be my rock and my safeplace. To feel confused and to ask someone with wisdom, rather than just ask God himself. I believed God could comfort me and give me peace, but I would rather have a tangible presence solve all the problems in the world. God has shown me that it is okay to just cry in his presence. To be real with him and let him know that I'm mad, or I'm upset, or I feel helpless and hopeless...but I can still be obedient in the midst of my frustration. If I tell God what I think--he can correct my views and really solve the problem. He's the one with all the answers.
My heart feels like I have nothing left in me. I've learned that true humility requires sacrifice. The laying down of "rights" and desires in order that God may be glorified. God's best can't be the best unless its done God's way...in his timing.
I realize I try to control God. I try to control others based on what my feelings are. I can't control everything. When things are outside of my control I get angry, I feel depressed, I get so frustrated and I work myself up. I can't change people's opinions just because I can justify things in my own mind. All I can really do is trust God to show himself strong through people and circumstances. I can't just make stuff happen. I have to prove it. I have to be diligent and stand by my word and my convictions. What good am I if I can't be obedient. God just really showed me that I've never really done something I just didn't want to do without being forced to do it.
Think about it--how many times have you really gone against your own will and flesh? I'm sitting here just praying to God that my own will hasn't been all wrong. That I haven't been ignoring the voice of God about this whole thing. Yes, I know I've missed the mark--but you keep on going. You trust in God to speak to you despite your will being pulled apart. Its funny that in my first week of DTS, I asked God to break my will...but never until now have I really felt it just fall to pieces.
The cards are on the table.
God is good. He holds me to my word. He tests my submission, obedience, willingness, and pride because He wants me to grow closer to him...
So I just gotta learn to fall into his arms instead of pull away.
-Rachel Olson
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Take Time
Wow, guys. I am so sorry that I have not kept up better with blogging. My internet on my computer stopped working--so it has been hard to find time to really post. So much is going on in my heart and in my spirit--that Its almost overwhelming to think about WHAT to say.
I've come to know God's character on a much deeper level. Its amazing how wrongly you can view life when you don't view God correctly.
I've learned that God loves me enough to want me to make choices. He delights in seeing me make wise decisions. He designed me to lead and make decisions--to trail blaze and perservere.
I've learned that sometimes sticking to your guns about something takes sacrifice and tears. There will be those who do not understand, or do not agree with what you have to say. Think of all the times when Paul was thrown in jail, or stoned on behalf of the gospel. I feel as though God wants to use me in a radical way--just like he was using Paul. To spread the gospel, and build up believers.
I am so excited to be in my calling. I have had so many strong words spoken over me that just confirm what God has already been speaking to me. I've been learning that I've changed so much. The way I view people, relationships, and the lost is just totally changed. For the better. I've learned that life on my own is scary...and that I desperately need God. To live a life of faith--of total dependance on Christ, takes daily...even hourly submission to Christ. To lay down my rights and pick up my cross. Its not just a fun idea, or even something that most Christians follow.
I've found that often time, we as Christians, try to appease ourselves by adapting the gospel to fit our personal agendas. We ask God for forgiveness more often than we ask for permission. Does anyone else see how backwards that is? Why do so many Christians view God only for his judgment...or over emphasize his grace? God doesn't just want to be your disciplinarian.. he wants to be your friend, father, and lover. An odd sounding combination. God wants to know you SO intimately. He wants to know how you feel...he wants to know what you think..and what you would like to do with your life. He wants you to talk to him...and not just TALK...but LISTEN.
Do you wonder why its so hard for you to sit down and have a quiet time? Does it feel like you're working so hard to hear something...but not getting anything? Do you ever take time in total silence? Ask God "What do you want to say to me?" ...or "What do you want to teach me through this difficult circumstance?" GUYS ITS SO AWESOME. For God to really speak to you on a consistent basis. You don't have to wait for someone to pray for you, or for you to have an awesome time at camp when someone gets a cool word for you. God wants to speak to you. He isn't looking for you to DO something to hear his voice...he desires desperately to speak to you. Its like...if your friend had something cool to tell you and they called you...but you didn't answer the phone...and then you got all frustrated because you didn't hear from your friend...so you keep calling them back at the same time they're calling you...and sometimes you just gotta wait a minute...so their call can get through.
I just want to encourage each of you to really take time to hear God speak to you.
I'm really excited because I'm going to South Africa AND Botswana now. I'll be leaving in January. SO EXCITED. I'll be back in Dallas in 3 weeks exactly. I'm so excited. I cannot wait to see everyone. To sleep in my bed, and hold my puppy. I <3 Cassie!!! mmmm
I love it all.
I love you all, and I'm so sorry I haven't been as good about posting blogs.
God is working in me...and I'm so thankful that I'm here!
I encourage all of you to do a DTS at somepoint!
<3 Rachel
I've come to know God's character on a much deeper level. Its amazing how wrongly you can view life when you don't view God correctly.
I've learned that God loves me enough to want me to make choices. He delights in seeing me make wise decisions. He designed me to lead and make decisions--to trail blaze and perservere.
I've learned that sometimes sticking to your guns about something takes sacrifice and tears. There will be those who do not understand, or do not agree with what you have to say. Think of all the times when Paul was thrown in jail, or stoned on behalf of the gospel. I feel as though God wants to use me in a radical way--just like he was using Paul. To spread the gospel, and build up believers.
I am so excited to be in my calling. I have had so many strong words spoken over me that just confirm what God has already been speaking to me. I've been learning that I've changed so much. The way I view people, relationships, and the lost is just totally changed. For the better. I've learned that life on my own is scary...and that I desperately need God. To live a life of faith--of total dependance on Christ, takes daily...even hourly submission to Christ. To lay down my rights and pick up my cross. Its not just a fun idea, or even something that most Christians follow.
I've found that often time, we as Christians, try to appease ourselves by adapting the gospel to fit our personal agendas. We ask God for forgiveness more often than we ask for permission. Does anyone else see how backwards that is? Why do so many Christians view God only for his judgment...or over emphasize his grace? God doesn't just want to be your disciplinarian.. he wants to be your friend, father, and lover. An odd sounding combination. God wants to know you SO intimately. He wants to know how you feel...he wants to know what you think..and what you would like to do with your life. He wants you to talk to him...and not just TALK...but LISTEN.
Do you wonder why its so hard for you to sit down and have a quiet time? Does it feel like you're working so hard to hear something...but not getting anything? Do you ever take time in total silence? Ask God "What do you want to say to me?" ...or "What do you want to teach me through this difficult circumstance?" GUYS ITS SO AWESOME. For God to really speak to you on a consistent basis. You don't have to wait for someone to pray for you, or for you to have an awesome time at camp when someone gets a cool word for you. God wants to speak to you. He isn't looking for you to DO something to hear his voice...he desires desperately to speak to you. Its like...if your friend had something cool to tell you and they called you...but you didn't answer the phone...and then you got all frustrated because you didn't hear from your friend...so you keep calling them back at the same time they're calling you...and sometimes you just gotta wait a minute...so their call can get through.
I just want to encourage each of you to really take time to hear God speak to you.
I'm really excited because I'm going to South Africa AND Botswana now. I'll be leaving in January. SO EXCITED. I'll be back in Dallas in 3 weeks exactly. I'm so excited. I cannot wait to see everyone. To sleep in my bed, and hold my puppy. I <3 Cassie!!! mmmm
I love it all.
I love you all, and I'm so sorry I haven't been as good about posting blogs.
God is working in me...and I'm so thankful that I'm here!
I encourage all of you to do a DTS at somepoint!
<3 Rachel
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)