Wednesday, October 20, 2010


So rather than just tell you a repeat of the teaching from this last week, I'm going to tell you what God is speaking to me!
First of all, I love reading the Bible. We're reading through the New Testament--right now I'm in Luke--but seriously I keep coming across random verses that make me super curious. I want to know exactly what God meant what he said all this stuff! Random things I've never thought of before and random questions that pop in my head during the teachings that make me think.
I've never been this inquisitive about the Bible. I want to research all this stuff. I might even spend some time doing that this weekend.
Here is a list of examples. I won't dig into them--but feel free to look into them yourself and let me know your thoughts :]

Matthew 5:17
--So, if Jesus distinctly said the old law doesn't disappear just because He came, what does that mean for the modern day church? Tattoos etc.

Matthew 6:24
--Can you only be fully dependent on one? God alone or Money alone?

Matthew 10:29
--Do we have to totally die to our humanity to be in God's Will? Was our humanity completely corrupted when sin entered the world?

Matthew 17:11
--Was John the Baptist Elijah incarnate? Or was he just a New Testament symbol of Elijah?

Matthew 19:28
--Jesus said 12 thrones for 12 disciples in Heaven, but what about Judas?

Matthew 27:52
--It says after Jesus rose again, the tombs broke open and the dead were raised, after resurrection went to holy city and appeared to people. Is this talking about those that had died a while back--like Moses? And did they reveal their identities? Is the Holy City Jerusalem or Heaven? I don't get it!

Mark 1:34
--Why wouldn't Jesus let the demons reveal his diety?

Mark 3:29
--What does it mean to blaspheme the Holy Spirit? **I got this one answered. Ask if you're curious**

Mark 6:4
--Are most modern day churches like another Nazareth? Rejecting the prophets without any honor?

Mark 8:2
--When Jesus fed the 5000, it says the people didn't eat for 3 days just sitting listening to him--Why did Jesus wait THREE days to feed them?

Mark 14:51
--Who is the young man fleeing naked?

Luke 2:26
--Simeon had been promised by the Holy Spirit that he would see the Messiah before he died, and he did. How did he experience the Holy Spirit before Pentacost?

Luke 3:16
--Why baptized with FIRE?

Luke 6:30
--Give to anyone who asks you. Are Christians supposed to be a doormat? Service= Doormat?

Luke 7:35
--Wisdom is proved right by her children. What does this mean?

Luke 9:27
--When Jesus says they would "not taste death" does this mean they'd go directly to heaven from life, or what?

Luke 11:23
--Jesus says he who is not for you is against you. Does that contradict Mark 9:40

Luke 11:51
--What does it mean that his generation is held responsible for the death of the prophets?

Does God give you faith for salvation? Are faith and belief synonymous? Why aren't all saved if they've been given the faith to believe? What does that say about predestination?

Luke 12:47
--Does this verse support abuse in slavery?

Luke 13:4
--Is there any record of 18 people dying when a tower fell in Siloam?

Luke 13:6-9
--What does the parable about the fig tree mean?

Luke 13:24
--"Many will try to enter but cannot" Is this because they didn't know Jesus?

When Jesus was alive--and Jews died without knowing or believing He was the Messiah--did they go straight to Hell? Or only after the crucifixion? Or was there an age of accountability after Jesus came?

Luke 14:15-24
--What does it mean in this parable that those the king invited rejected him and he turned to others instead?

What does it mean that David was a man after God's own heart?

If incest was one of the reasons God made the Flood...did incest happen again after the flood to repopulate the earth? Or were the sons all married prior to the flood?

If that's not overwhelming enough for you-- God is actually speaking some things to me too--beyond just questions!
I'm getting answers and conviction too :]
One, I'm really starting to feel a burden about missions. I know God has called me to missions--but now I'm really starting to develop a heart for those people. The people that have not ever heard about Jesus. I'm at a point that if I decided to anything else with my life other than go on the mission field--I would feel like I missed it.
In all honesty, I feel like if you're not on the mission field as a missionary--your job is to go to college to earn money to fund missionaries in order to fulfill the Great Commission. For a long time I viewed the Great Commission as a collective assignment. I thought as long as people were out there--then it was being fulfilled. But no! Its a very personal and individual call. YOU ARE CALLED TO MISSIONS. If you're not going overseas--you better be doing your absolute best to reach those in your school, your job, and your neighborhood. YOU ARE CALLED.
Yesterday, we had a teacher say something about how it usually takes a year to really develop intimacy with God. I was reminded of how I told God I was giving him 2010. How this year was going to be different...and I felt like God told me "THIS IS YOUR YEAR" I'm almost overwhelmed. Its towards the end of October....I made this commitment on January 1st--and God has been faithful. I've learned so much about His character and who He is. By the end of this year, I will have been on youth staff and completed the lecture phase of DTS. In January I'll be going on outreach.
So 2010 has been like a learning/training time. and after this I'll be going on to a totally new stage of life. Literally a new decade, and the end of my teen years. God picked such a SYMBOLIC time for me to be doing this! I love it. All these monumental occasions happening to remind me that I will never be the same again.
I can't.

I know God has called me to this.
I am looking forward to doing schools after this and then continuing into whatever God has for me.
In all honesty--I am so blessed to have such encouraging people in my life, and I would love to talk to anyone about what is going on, and what God is doing.
Skype, email, phone call--whatever!

I love this, and I am excited to go to South Africa in January--and wherever God calls me to after that!
If at any point you feel a desire to bless me financially--I just figured out you can pay online! I had no idea before this!

I love you all!


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Forgiveness and Mercy


Sorry, I haven't written for a while! I'll try to catch you up to date.

This past week, Michael Berg, spoke on Biblical Restoration--basically that means we went over what the Bible says about being restored from sin, past guilt and shame, and forgiveness. We talked about the Father Heart of God--and what that means. I realized a couple things about myself--I realized that I have a problem with knowing God as a comforter. I don't let people comfort me, because I view it as pity--which makes sense with why compassion has been a difficult concept for me to get.
On Thursday, we had a day where we got in our small groups and we went around and we prayed outloud and forgave people for specific offenses. I'm not going to lie, when I say that it was life changing. I went into it sort of wary. I didn't know what it would look like--I felt weird basically confessing all my junk to a bunch of girls I barely know...but I think God works with an obedient spirit. I literally confessed everything I could possibly confess--I had to forgive myself for a bunch of stuff, and everyone else that had done something against me in the past. It was so hard bringing up old stuff i hadn't brought up in a while. At the end of it I just have felt almost depressed and confused.
Its like all the things I used to define myself by--mistakes, misconceptions...all of it is exposed and out in the open. Satan can't plague my secrets if I don't have any secrets. I've been here thinking--who am I? I've been feeling so broken down and vulnerable--and its hard, I'm not going to lie. But it is so so good. I've been having to ask God to redefine who I'm supposed to be. To be who I was created to be.
I feel like God is creating a place here for me--and I'm so excited about that. But,I'm just so curious to see what God has for me while I'm here. Its only 3 weeks in, and I feel like I have a totally different view of myself.

Its getting to the point where I'm really having to exercise patience...and mercy...and grace. Haha. I'm sure this doesn't surprise anyone--BUT living in the same room with 7 girls is a challenge. 11 total in my house--til November, then there will be more. Just the combination of everyone's little bitty messes--dishes, bags, laundry, toiletries--it all adds up! haha But I've been feeling convicted to have a better attitude...sooooo I always appreciate prayers! haha

I love you all, and I cannot even express how grateful I am have that you have invested in my life in order to equip me to do the Lord's work.
I encourage everyone to do a DTS, whether or not they feel called to missions. It is life changing and it equips you to live a life clean before God. It teaches you how to live a consistent holy lifestyle--and its so important!
Do it people!

Love you all, please feel free to ask questions if you have any!

God Bless!