Wow, guys. I am so sorry that I have not kept up better with blogging. My internet on my computer stopped working--so it has been hard to find time to really post. So much is going on in my heart and in my spirit--that Its almost overwhelming to think about WHAT to say.
I've come to know God's character on a much deeper level. Its amazing how wrongly you can view life when you don't view God correctly.
I've learned that God loves me enough to want me to make choices. He delights in seeing me make wise decisions. He designed me to lead and make decisions--to trail blaze and perservere.
I've learned that sometimes sticking to your guns about something takes sacrifice and tears. There will be those who do not understand, or do not agree with what you have to say. Think of all the times when Paul was thrown in jail, or stoned on behalf of the gospel. I feel as though God wants to use me in a radical way--just like he was using Paul. To spread the gospel, and build up believers.
I am so excited to be in my calling. I have had so many strong words spoken over me that just confirm what God has already been speaking to me. I've been learning that I've changed so much. The way I view people, relationships, and the lost is just totally changed. For the better. I've learned that life on my own is scary...and that I desperately need God. To live a life of faith--of total dependance on Christ, takes daily...even hourly submission to Christ. To lay down my rights and pick up my cross. Its not just a fun idea, or even something that most Christians follow.
I've found that often time, we as Christians, try to appease ourselves by adapting the gospel to fit our personal agendas. We ask God for forgiveness more often than we ask for permission. Does anyone else see how backwards that is? Why do so many Christians view God only for his judgment...or over emphasize his grace? God doesn't just want to be your disciplinarian.. he wants to be your friend, father, and lover. An odd sounding combination. God wants to know you SO intimately. He wants to know how you feel...he wants to know what you think..and what you would like to do with your life. He wants you to talk to him...and not just TALK...but LISTEN.
Do you wonder why its so hard for you to sit down and have a quiet time? Does it feel like you're working so hard to hear something...but not getting anything? Do you ever take time in total silence? Ask God "What do you want to say to me?" ...or "What do you want to teach me through this difficult circumstance?" GUYS ITS SO AWESOME. For God to really speak to you on a consistent basis. You don't have to wait for someone to pray for you, or for you to have an awesome time at camp when someone gets a cool word for you. God wants to speak to you. He isn't looking for you to DO something to hear his voice...he desires desperately to speak to you. Its like...if your friend had something cool to tell you and they called you...but you didn't answer the phone...and then you got all frustrated because you didn't hear from your friend...so you keep calling them back at the same time they're calling you...and sometimes you just gotta wait a minute...so their call can get through.
I just want to encourage each of you to really take time to hear God speak to you.
I'm really excited because I'm going to South Africa AND Botswana now. I'll be leaving in January. SO EXCITED. I'll be back in Dallas in 3 weeks exactly. I'm so excited. I cannot wait to see everyone. To sleep in my bed, and hold my puppy. I <3 Cassie!!! mmmm
I love it all.
I love you all, and I'm so sorry I haven't been as good about posting blogs.
God is working in me...and I'm so thankful that I'm here!
I encourage all of you to do a DTS at somepoint!