Monday, January 11, 2010

Decoding God

So last night and today was pretty eventful.
Josh was feeling pretty sick and he was throwing up, and we just thought it was the flu or something. But then he got severe stomach pain and we took him to the ER. We discovered it was a problem with his gall bladder. They thought they were going to have to remove it, but then they decided not to. Praise God he is home now and on the road to recovery.

I went and saw the movie Heath Ledger was filming whenever he died, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. It was SO good. I would definitely recommend it. I had no idea what the plot was about when I went into it, but it was really easy to get into and I truly enjoyed it. It had an interesting perspective that made me think.
I also saw Avatar, which was very legit. I thought it'd be nerdy, but I actually thought it was pretty cool. I mean it had an interesting worldview behind it, but I found it intriguing.

So now I've been wondering what the limits on my "no TV" fast is. I have figured movies out with friends are okay, because I don't want to make things awkward for them or to talk about it all the time. Like idk...I don't want to be like a Pharisee that boasts about my religious actions all the time, its supposed to be a personal thing between me and God. Granted, it is harder to privately give up something like Facebook, because other people notice it is deactivated and people ask questions, but regardless I feel its effective. I mean there is only so much I can do online without facebook, and if I'm on the computer, I recognize that I'm just wasting time without doing anything and that I should just put my computer aside and pick up my Bible. Its only been 2 full days, but I'm feeling like God is going to use this time.

I feel like there is a point that God is trying to make to me, and I'm exactly sure how it pertains to me yet. I sort of mentioned it in my last post, but after that I found another verse that went right along with it, and I'm just trying to figure it out.

First the story of King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20, where the Lord was with the people and their enemies were confused and destroyed themselves

Second Isaiah 43:14 "This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:"For your sake I will send to Babylon and bring down as fugitives all the Babylonians,in the ships in which they took pride."

Proverbs 1:18-19 "These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves! Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the lives of those who get it."

What I'm seeing in these verses is that the things that you desire will be your demise. The Lord was with the Israelites, and their enemies who wished to destroy them, destroyed each other instead. The Lord was with the Israelites and he promised to destroy the Babylonians using the very thing they prided themselves in, and in Proverbs the desires of the foolish man leads to his destruction. I can't tell whether I'm supposed to view this as a promise or a warning.
Am I supposed to use this as a reminder to be sure to not let my foolish desires destroy me, or am I supposed to feel comforted that those who come against me will be brought down by their own foolishness. Or is it a reminder that it is only by God's favor that I am not destroyed. That he is the reason I haven't been totally defeated. Or should I acknowledge all of those possible lessons?

We'll see. I don't know exactly what this all pertains to, but I am definitely feeling strengthened in my will and self control. I thank God for that. Thats what I really want to work on this year. I want to be strong. Not physically, but spiritually. I want to be less led by my emotions or misconceptions and walk my faith with strength and boldness and the confidence that God's hand is on my life and I need to live out what I want others to see in me.

love for all :]

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